I Got Mail

(I) will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness. Psalm 145:7NIV

I received the most beautiful card today. It was from a very special friend. My closest and dearest friend in fact, who I tell everything to.

Except this.

I have been going through a very challenging time of transitions in my life. And, until recently, had been doing really well at "handling it all".

For some reason (let's call it pride) I hadn't shared with my friend how down and lost I was feeling. How upset and confused. How lonely. How insecure. No, I had kept these feelings to myself, allowing them to continue to swirl around inside of me, draining my soul of any joy or peace.

Then this morning, after a particularly long night, I broke down and cried. I wept really. I poured out my heart to Jesus. And then I asked for His help.

I asked Him to show me where these feelings were coming from. I really needed to know.
Silence.

I asked Him to help me resolve them. I really wanted to stop feeling this way.

Again, silence.

OK then Lord, can I please have a glimpse of your heart? Do you really love me? Can you show me who I am to you?

I waited. Nothing.

With shaky legs, I got up off my knees and left it at that.

The rest of my day was the same routine; kids, homework, carpooling, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc...

As I stood at the sink preparing to make supper, I thought back to my quiet time this morning and wondered if Jesus had even heard my prayer. Of course He had. So why then? Why this silence? Why nothing? Did He not even care?

Thirty minutes later I heard my husband arrive home.

"You've got mail Hon!" he called from the back door.

As he handed me the envelope, my eyes quickly scanned the return address and I saw that it was from my friend. That's so weird I thought. We've been friends for years and she's never sent me a card. She'd tell you herself; it just isn't her "thing".

I opened the card and with tears streaming down my face read the most loving, perfect, inspiring and beautiful words written for me. My friend had signed it; I thought you might need to know this today.

I held the letter close to my heart and called my friend to say thank you. Then, with tears still streaming down my cheeks, I said another thank you. To my Jesus, the lover of my soul, the one who knows the most perfect way to meet my needs.

I had asked for some encouragement this morning.

My friend had mailed this card four days ago.

With a heart full of joy, what could I do except stand in awe of the God of the universe who loves me enough to not only hear my prayers but answer them with His most perfect timing and in His most beautiful ways.

Thank you Jesus that you are with me in all my circumstances. Thank you for filling my days with joy; sometimes in simple, small ways and other times in surprising and amazing ones! I pray that I will always remember your goodness to me and never forget to celebrate, every day, your unfailing and beautiful love.

The One

The One

Whatever is true, whatever is noble,

whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-

if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-
think about such things. Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Did you know that you can only think about one thing at a time? My ten year old son shared that fact with me as I was tucking him into bed last night. Go ahead. Try it. It's true. You really can only think about one thing at a time. The one thing you're thinking about is the one thing you're thinking about. Which got me wondering; what am I thinking about?

Oh, I'd love to tell you that my daily thoughts are all heavenly and pure, but that wouldn't be true.

Most of my thoughts are not that questionable. They centre around my children; their needs and concerns, my responsibilities as a wife and a mom, household items, daily activities, and more recently, how to get all four of my kids, husband and myself packed and organized to move into our new home next week.

There are other times during the day however, when I'm not concentrating on any one thing in particular. These are the moments when I have some space to let my thoughts wander. And it's in these times that I'm wondering where my thoughts lead.

While watching another mom deal lovingly with her screaming toddler, I find myself comparing her reaction to my parenting skills and wishing I had more patience with my children.

After seeing a neighbour sprint down the street for her morning run, I catch myself wondering why don't I have the time or initiative to train for a marathon like her?

When I steal a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror before stepping out of the van, I find myself suddenly self-conscious wondering where did that wrinkle come from?

After driving by an acquaintance's beautiful house, I start imagining what my life would be like if I lived there.

Hebrews 3:1 tells us to "fix our thoughts on Jesus". Why? Because God knows when our idle thoughts go unchecked they can lead us down destructive paths that stir up feelings of jealousy, bitterness and discontentment. Feelings that waste our time and energy, put our focus on ourselves and ultimately pull our hearts away from God.

In today's verse, Paul describes what we as Christians are to think about. It's a lofty list and one that I used to believe was impossible to follow. Until last night, when it occurred to me that there truly isn't a more perfect or easier way to focus my thoughts on things that are pleasing to God, things that are true, noble, right, pure, admirable, lovely, excellent, and praiseworthy, than by keeping my mind focused on Jesus. The One who is all these things to me and so much more.

So, starting now, I'm going to pay attention to my thoughts in the idle moments of my day. And when I find them taking me down the path of destructive thinking, I'm not going to let them take me there. Instead, I will fix my mind on Jesus. On the One who died for me. On the One who loves me unconditionally (wrinkles and all!) On the One who wants to fill all the moments of my day with the incredible joy, sweet peace and beautiful blessings that He has planned for me.

Thank you Jesus that you are the One who is perfect in every way. Strengthen my conviction to pay attention to my thoughts and please help me keep them focused on things that are pleasing to you.