cobwebs and clutter

I come from a long line of jealous women.  I'm not blaming them (or my mother- been there done that!)  I'm simply stating a fact. 
I came to realize this a few years ago when I was doing a devotional on jealousy and felt God urging me to look closely at the contents of my heart.  All of the sudden I understood a lot more about the women in my family.  The tension, the whispered comments, the raised eyebrows and looks, the lack of communication amongst some families member I used to assume was due to the circumstances of life, but now I saw that they were all really caused by the bitter root of jealousy.  Masking it by anger or judgement, by voiced critiscm or by silent condemnation doesn't change what it is.  It is still a powerful and destructive emotion.  Much like unforgiveness, jealousy rots the soul of it's keeper.
Through prayer and vigilance, a few years back, I worked at ridding myself of jealousy.  It was tough work and a daily battle that involved both my thoughts and my heart.  My perserverance paid off though and for a while I felt much more peaceful and full of joy. 
It's funny how things can creep back into our lives though without us even realizing, isn't it?
Lately, I've been feeling restless, discontent and at times just down right critical.  If someone told me about another mom's success, my first thought wasn't- oh good for her, rather I'd find myself passing judgement on another area in her life. 
The other night my husband received a phone call from someone who was in distress and needed to talk.  After he got off the phone, my husband briefly explained what the issue was.  My response;  well, he's crazy anyway.  My husband just looked at me and said "  yes, he might be."
His words stayed with me and I kept thinking about this individual.  I realized that the state of his mental health wasn't the issue, it was his obvious hurt and need.
Praying for this man, was a first step for me in addressing my own enormous need.  The need for God to clean out the contents of my heart that were harbouring these feelings of jealousy and judgement. 
The Lord and I are still sorting through the clutter and cobwebs but we are making progress.  My heart already feels lighter and there is a peace in my soul that I haven't had for a while.

Thank you Jesus for your never failing mercy and grace.
Thank you Jesus for my wise and patient husband.
Thank you Jesus for wrapping your arms of love around us in our times of need.
Help me always be those arms to others.