Love to Live & Live to Love

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I Got Mail

(I) will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness. Psalm 145:7NIV

I received the most beautiful card today. It was from a very special friend. My closest and dearest friend in fact, who I tell everything to.


Except this.


I have been going through a very challenging time of transitions in my life. And, until recently, had been doing really well at "handling it all".


For some reason (let's call it pride) I hadn't shared with my friend how down and lost I was feeling. How upset and confused. How lonely. How insecure. No, I had kept these feelings to myself, allowing them to continue to swirl around inside of me, draining my soul of any joy or peace.


Then this morning, after a particularly long night, I broke down and cried. I wept really. I poured out my heart to Jesus. And then I asked for His help.


I asked Him to show me where these feelings were coming from. I really needed to know.
Silence.


I asked Him to help me resolve them. I really wanted to stop feeling this way.
Again, silence.

OK then Lord, can I please have a glimpse of your heart? Do you really love me? Can you show me who I am to you?
I waited. Nothing.


With shaky legs, I got up off my knees and left it at that.


The rest of my day was the same routine; kids, homework, carpooling, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc...


As I stood at the sink preparing to make supper, I thought back to my quiet time this morning and wondered if Jesus had even heard my prayer. Of course He had. So why then? Why this silence? Why nothing? Did He not even care?


Thirty minutes later I heard my husband arrive home.


"You've got mail Hon!" he called from the back door.


As he handed me the envelope, my eyes quickly scanned the return address and I saw that it was from my friend. That's so weird I thought. We've been friends for years and she's never sent me a card. She'd tell you herself; it just isn't her "thing".


I opened the card and with tears streaming down my face read the most loving, perfect, inspiring and beautiful words written for me. My friend had signed it; I thought you might need to know this today.


I held the letter close to my heart and called my friend to say thank you. Then, with tears still streaming down my cheeks, I said another thank you. To my Jesus, the lover of my soul, the one who knows the most perfect way to meet my needs.


I had asked for some encouragement this morning.


My friend had mailed this card four days ago.


With a heart full of joy, what could I do except stand in awe of the God of the universe who loves me enough to not only hear my prayers but answer them with His most perfect timing and in His most beautiful ways.









Thank you Jesus that you are with me in all my circumstances. Thank you for filling my days with joy; sometimes in simple, small ways and other times in surprising and amazing ones! I pray that I will always remember your goodness to me and never forget to celebrate, every day, your unfailing and beautiful love.