BFF

"I love you Lord; you are my strength.  The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my saviour. 

He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold.

I will call on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, for he saves me from my enemies."  Psalm 18:1-3

We're best friends right?

The ensuing giggles and squeals of laughter assured me that my daughter had got the answer she was hoping for.  And, with a huge smile on her face, she and her" best friend", headed off arm and arm to her room to play some more.

The kitchen was still a mess but I needed a break so I picked up my mug of coffee, and sat down.  Besides, overhearing that conversation between my not yet five year old daughter and her friend had left my stomach feeling a little queasy.

Oh how often I have been in that place.  The place of wondering.  Am I accepted?  Am I liked?  Am I good enough?  Have I done enough for you lately?  Are we still friends?

I'm biased but I'm also positive that if you knew my daughter, you'd love her.  She is cute as a button.  She's full of energy (ever read the book, The Spirited Child?  I've just about worn out my copy!)  She's amazingly strong and beautifully tender hearted.  I love spending time with her.  She's my baby girl.  Who wouldn't want to be friends with her?

How my mom's heart longs for her to always feel loved and accepted, to never have anyone reject her or break her heart.  But that is not how life works.

Because as humans, living in a fallen world, we do a pretty good job of hurting each other.  Sometimes it's deliberate.  Sometimes it's accidental.  Sometimes it's simply because our own issues prevent us from being able to really care about another person's heart.

Over the course of my life, I've met many wonderful people and I consider myself so very blessed to be able to call a few of them friends.

Through the years though I've also experienced the pain of rejection, lost trust and broken relationship. 

While I thank Jesus every day for the blessings of friendship in my life, it has been in the darker times of brokenness and pain, when He has walked with me on the path toward healing that I've come to understand how truly blessed I am to know Jesus as my saviour and friend.

Later, after the play date was over and the house was (somewhat!) tidied up, I snuggled on the couch with my daughter and told her about my best friend, Jesus.  I told her how precious He is to me.  How faithful, how trustworthy and strong.  How he loves me just as I am,  How I only had to ask Him once to be my friend and He is now forever.  I don't have to keep checking. 

Jesus is right beside me all the time, arm and arm, walking with me through all my days.

My daughter was quiet for a while, then looked up at me and whispered;  that sounds really wonderful Mommy.  With a lump in my throat and a heart full of love, I pulled her close and whispered back ; You're right sweetheart.  You are so right.  And I pray with all my heart that someday you would know for yourself just how precious and true a friendship with Jesus really is.

Skating on the Pond



My daughter and I spent the most beautiful morning skating on the pond.

It was just her and I and the falling snow.






With laundry to do, groceries to get, errands to run, stopping    

to skate here wasn't part of my plan. 

Was it worth it? 

The beautiful smile on my daughter's face I think says it all.

The Miracle of Love

"To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others."  Francois Mauriac

As I mentioned in a previous post, I brought home several beautiful coffee table books from our local library to display and enjoy.  I must say they complete my coffee table and I have thoroughly enjoyed flipping through their pages.

One book; Glorious Weddings, has particularly captivated my attention.  It might be because my 6 year old son when trying to pronounce it's title asked me if it was a book on "Ferocious Weddings"!  I have been giggling about that ever since.  I'm not sure what a book on ferocious weddings would look like!

This book is full of gorgeous photographs and interesting pieces of information about marriage and weddings that I simply never knew.  For instance, did you know that the tradition of the bride standing to the left of her groom dates back to the time of marriage by capture, as this positioning allowed the man to keep his right hand free for defense?  Hmm, marriage by capture...now that just might be something for my son's "ferocious weddings" book!

Maybe its the month, but love has definitely been on my mind. 

I feel so blessed by the love of my sweet family.  I want to treasure, honour and cherish the miracle of their love every day. 

Love is patient; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.

Love does not insist on its on way; it is not resentful; it does not rejoice in wrong.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends....So faith, hope, love abide, these three;

but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8,13



Against The Wall

 Standing against the cold, brick wall with my son, I didn't know what to do. I had just arrived to pick him up from school only to be told by his teacher that she needed to speak with me about Jonah's behaviour in class that day so could I please stand against the wall with him until she was finished dismissing the other children.

A million thoughts raced through my mind. What had he done? I had never received anything but glowing reports about Jonah. How bad could it be? After all, he was only in Kindergarten, but while I have had conversations with teachers over the years, I certainly had never been told to stand against the wall with either of my older two sons.

Unsure what charges lay head made me tense and I was suddenly very aware of all the other parents' eyes on me. Then I heard it. Muffled sobs coming from my 5 year old boy. I looked down to see him covering his face with his hands and choking on tears.

A mixture of emotions filled me. I was nervous. I was disappointed. I was embarrassed. I was imagining the worst. I was at the place so often we as moms come to; the place of choice.

Do I choose to pretend I don't hear his sobs? Do I tell him to stop, after all he got himself into this mess and his cries are only drawing more attention to the two of us standing over here against this wall.

What do I do Jesus?

Love him, I felt the Lord reply.

Love him? But shouldn't I discipline him? Shouldn't I lecture him first? Shouldn't I remain aloof at least so that he feels the weight of my disappointment?

Love him was the only answer I heard.

So, following the Lord's leading I went against what felt like my better judgement and leaned down to pull my son into a hug. With my arms wrapped tightly around him, I whispered into his ear " No matter what this is about Jonah, I love you and I always will."

Hearing those words made him cry harder at first but then he settled down secure in my embrace.

His teacher eventually came over to speak with us and reveal the details of the incident at school- nothing too serious I'm happy to report but Jonah had made a bad choice.

As I loaded him into the can and prepared to drive home, I couldn't help but think how much of life is about the choices we make.

Do we choose to forgive or do we try to seek revenge? Do we choose to be honest or do we tell ourselves that just this one time it won't matter? Do we choose to surrender our daily plans to God or do we hold on tight to our own agenda? Do we choose to bite our tongue and swallow or pride or do we decide to just let our spouse "have it"?

My son had made a bad choice with one of his peers and had to face the consequences.

That day, I too had made a choice. To follow Jesus' prompting and just love my son. I wish I could say that I've always chosen to extend unconditional love to my children and husband but the truth is that too often I've allowed my pride, frustration, fatigue or anger to come first. More times than not, I've launched into a lecture before extending an ounce of love or listening ear.

I'm so thankful Jesus reminded me of a better way. And I'm so deeply grateful for the unconditional, lavish and beautiful love He freely extends to me daily; regardless of whether or not I deserve it.

My prayer for today is that Jesus would help me remember to choose love first, especially at times when I am convinced that those I love the most are least deserving of it.

Bliss





I just had to post a picture of one of my most favourite things.  I found these while my daughter was at story time last week- coffee table books. 

As I child we had tons of these around our house.

My hubby and I not so much.  So I was thrilled to discover a whole stack of them at the library.

I love everything about coffee table books; their presentation, their content and most of all their size. 

I'm not a big "sitter" but a coffee table book is one thing that forces me to sit down, put my feet up and exhale. 

Its a snowy afternoon here and I simply can't wait to put the fire on,  pour myself a cup of tea and then curl up with a couple of these books.  Ahh....Bliss.