Learn from yesterday
Live for today
Hope in tomorrow
There is a history of depression that runs deep among the women in my family.
My maternal great-grandmother and grandmother suffered and my aunt and mother still struggle with mental illness today. To spend a day, a week, a month or several years in bed is not out of the norm for them. In fact, growing up, I thought most women spent the majority of their lives either sick or sleeping.
Thankfully, at the tender age of 8, I heard the Lord calling my name and responded to that call by inviting Him into my heart.
Jesus saved me then and has been my saviour in so many ways since.
From that very early age, I knew that I wanted my story to be different. I can't tell you how I knew or even what that "difference" looked like to me back then. All I know is that I was determined that generations of depressed women in my family was going to stop with me.
If only it were that easy!
It's been a battle. One that I need to arm myself for everyday. And one that has only been possible through the enormous support of my husband, closest friends and continual prayer.
To be honest, there are days I'm not sure the battle is even being won.
I look at my kids, my house, my life and find it's so easy to see the negative and feel like it would be so easy to just lay down and take a nap!
But then, this morning, I came across this verse and was reminded again that God changes things.
But when the people came in through the north gateway to worship God, they must leave by the south gateway. They must never leave by the way they came in , but must always use the opposite gate. Ezekiel 46:9
God does not leave as we are. And we are never the same after spending time with Him.
And despite the fact that I am not perfect, nor is my life, when I really think about it, I see that there is a huge difference between the life that I am living and the ones that were modelled for me growing up.
Some days I struggle with thoughts of does any of this matter. Laundry, meals, cleaning chores, volunteer work...I mean really, is there any significance in what I do?
Some days it's hard to see how or what my "different" is and yet I am choosing to trust that God knows.
I am choosing to believe that His plans for my life (no matter how insignificant it may seem) are perfect.
And I am trusting that the way I am embracing life will enthusiastically impact my precious children and the generations that are to come.
Thank you Jesus that when we seek after you, you answer our prayers.
Thank you that you don't leave us as we are but change us according to
your perfect will for our lives.
Thank you Jesus that through you and you alone can we really be different
and all that you have called us to be
